tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34085908238296197662024-02-08T05:58:27.330-08:00Queen Bee-tesKBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-61055170490192803442012-04-27T08:24:00.003-07:002012-04-27T08:24:57.889-07:00So you had a bad day.<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lately, I’ve been reflecting on sources of strength – where do you turn or what do you turn to in difficult times? Or in more simple terms, how do I make it through days where diabetes is forcing me to have a terrible, no good, very bad day? Like the days where my body plays tricks on me and I feel low but in fact, I’m just a normal gal (according to my blood sugars anyway). There are days where I don’t feel well and I just plain and simple don’t have a choice but to deal with it. There are days when technology fails at the most inconvenient times and I am one sad, stressed out robot. I have to admit it’s these days that I truly feel the burden of living with diabetes and I loathe all of my pancreases even the plastic, wireless one that I usually find so nifty. So, how do you pull yourself up by the boot straps and get through the days, weeks, months, years? Survival mode to me is like a retroactive time machine – so what does that mean?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Often coping means checking-in with my team of experts: me, myself and I. I think to myself, how can I better this bad situation and calm my anxieties? How have I dealt with this in the past? I call this (as of 30 seconds ago) the “Destiny’s Child” method because it is intended to be powerful – imagine that your brain is dressed up in camouflage dancing beside Beyonce in the “Survivor” video and tell me that doesn’t empower you to get through a crap day. Yes – I can call, text, email or visit with friends and family but I’ve learned that while that coping mechanism gives me the “warm and fuzzies”– it is uber rewarding to pull from deep down in your guts and find inner strength to cope and then enjoy the sense of pride for what you’ve accomplished. Even if you didn’t really “accomplish” anything in the traditional sense, sometimes the feeling that you survived is enough to make you smile. And when that doesn’t work, there’s always malbec and cute animal videos on youtube. </span><br />KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-78685633885801537422012-04-24T12:26:00.000-07:002012-04-24T12:27:06.127-07:00The Anxiety Monster<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Panic and anxiety are the grown-up versions of the monsters that lived under your bed when you were a little kid. They are menacing and core-shaking just like those craaazy monsters your parents had to kick out of your room each night. And just like the aftermath of surviving a midnight monster attack – you often realize how silly your thought-process actually was during that so-called terrifying event. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like my fear of monsters – my anxiety is fairly irrational and certainly not based on facts or historical evidence. Often my hysteria is based on spooky stories passed through generations of other people with diabetes, their families, the media and complete strangers who feel it necessary to scare the living bejesus out of me. As I’ve dealt with my anxiety and attempted to wrangle my panic attacks – I realize that this takes a heck of a lot of compromise mentally, physically, emotionally. Living with diabetes means envisioning the worst and always being prepared for what highs and lows are thrown your way. It is difficult to stray from focusing on the negative and to continue learning from the days when anxiety wins and I lose. When I look at the positive, it’s clear that what feels like giant failure is actually a testament to how strong I actually am and how much stronger I’ll become. It’s like waking up and realizing that your army of stuffed animals clearly scared the monsters away for good except in my case, it’s slaying the low-blood sugar dragon and then realizing it wasn’t the catastrophe you were sure would happen in your mental picture. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Focusing on learned lessons has become a coping mechanism for anxiety and panic, by keeping a mental list of times where you’ve survived some serious shiz and didn’t lose your marbles in the process. Even now, I find it difficult to wrap my sometimes silly, sometimes anxious head around how I even got to this point and all the things I’ve accomplished/survived/thrived through since I was diagnosed. The biggest step to regaining control is accepting that just like the monsters – anxiety is a big friggen’ deal but not such that a little perspective, some family, some friends and maybe a few stuffed animals can’t cure.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130;"><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-6442357897136831532012-04-10T12:53:00.001-07:002012-04-10T12:54:26.078-07:00The Mary Poppins of Diabetes<br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are a chick with T-1 – I’ll bet a million dollars that your purse is so large that it resembles carry-on luggage. If you happen to be a family member or friend of mine – chances are I’ve asked you to hold my purse so that I could test, bolus or check my CGM and you are most likely still in physical therapy for the muscle strain that occurred. My bad for not telling you to lift with your knees instead of your back! </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I leave my apartment, I generally do a checklist in my head of all the possible diabetes situations that could occur while I am out in the wild. Do I have enough juice and glucose tabs in case I have multiple lows? What if my pod malfunctions? Did I remember to even put my g-damn pod in my purse? Do I have test strips? Where is my CGM? Is it charged? Should I bring snacks in case I morph into a hungry/cranky diabetic? The list goes on and on…and by the time I actually get out the door I have a very heavy arsenal of supplies in my purse. I see girls carrying small wristlets and clutches as their ONLY bag and laugh at how I fit at least two of those in my purse everyday just to keep my diabetes schtuff organized. I have a magical purse similar to Mary Poppins – sometimes I worry about falling in it and never being able to find my way out. </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since I am the MacGyver of diabetes – I decided for this post I would do a fun(ny) inventory of what is currently in my bag. Surprisingly, today was not too strange of a day in the world of purse contents. The contents include: my wallet (which is actually a wristlet and therefore contains entirely too many coupons/membership cards), 5 pods in two different pockets, 5 lipglosses, 1 jar of glucose tabs, 2 juice boxes, a vial of Novolog, a book of stamps, my checkbook, approx. 50 used test strips that have fallen to the bottom of my purse, a smushed granola bar, a wristlet containing my OmniPod, Test Strips and Lancet, a glucagon pen, a moleskin notebook, sparkly gel pen, a few sets of keys that I'm not sure who/where they belong to, my cell phone, my DexCom, sunglasses, post-it notes to myself, a pack of sugar-free gum, Advil, car keys and finally about 10 bobby pins/ hair ties in every pocket.</span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So now that you think I’m a hoarder who lives in my purse – I will leave you with this:</span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least I don’t carry pictures of my cat. The End.</span><br />
<br />KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-6643356378415011212012-04-06T09:12:00.000-07:002012-04-06T09:12:16.321-07:00Social Dieting<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I learned in graduate school how social networks affect your health – studies have proven that who you hang around with influences your ability to make long-lasting changes to your health and lifestyle. It has been shown that many people are overweight and stay overweight because of their environment and the people that surround them. I read a review for the new book “The Social Network Diet” by Miriam Nelson and Jennifer Ackerman – who hopes are to inspire a “ripple effect” of healthy lifestyles through their diet. The idea is very simple – remove the negative and add in a lot of positive. This includes people. And while the focus of this diet like millions of others is weight-loss and reducing obesity rates – it made me begin to think about this concept as it applies to my life with T1.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After 10 years with diabetes, I have to constantly inventory the “negative” influences over my diabetes and replace them with positive cues. For example, leaving my yoga mat in plain sight next to the couch so that is practically screams at me to get my lazy bum up and use it. Or, not buying chips at the grocery store because I am a snacking monster. But, how does this apply to people? I’ve certainly had a number of horrible health professionals that I’ve given the axe – including the biotch that told me I should carry a scale and a carbohydrate book to the dining hall at college for every meal. That would have been a foolproof plan for me to make ANY friends my freshman year. For the record, this “health professional” then went on to show me pictures of her pugs in costumes, enough said. “The Social Network Diet” influences people to be the epicenter of change in their network of friends, family, co-workers, etc. I think this is something people with diabetes deal with more than most. Every time we meet a new person, there is an internal gauge for how much that person needs or wants to know about your life with diabetes. Sometimes this is a forced and uncomfortable encounter and other times it’s wonderful to share. It can be a difficult to navigate social networks with a chronic disease – and to decide how much is too much when it comes to sharing about your health and not making people feel like they have to act differently around you. I’m sure it’s similar with weight loss – how many food items in the pantry can you throw out before your family stages an intervention and takes over the grocery shopping? How many times can you harass your friends to join your boot camp class before they stop answering your calls?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I might have to buy this book just to see what solutions they offer for the backlash that comes from being the “agent of change” in your social groups. This could be a mad social scientist experiment in the making – so beware friends, if you suddenly get a barrage of texts, emails and calls from me asking if you want to cleanse our pantries together please don’t ignore, I’m only trying to change the world one enriched flour item at a time.</span><br />
<br />KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-87618731284713593782012-04-02T11:24:00.002-07:002012-04-02T11:24:12.414-07:00The Domino Effect<span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Morning time is not my strong suite. I don't function before 7am unless I happen to be waking up for a shopping spree or a beach vacation. I require gallons of coffee before I am aware that I'm actually awake. A special thanks must be given to Keurig for making every work day possible. Besides my cup o' joe, there is one other morning activity that makes me spring out of bed with a smile on my face. Every morning after I turn off my succession of obnoxious alarms - the first thing I do is check my Dexcom to determine the fate of my morning. Today, I woke up to 93 with a beautiful straight arrow and a graph line showing that my BG had been around 100 for the last 6+ hours. GORGEOUS! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Night time BG's tend to be fabulous for me and this has begun to translate into fabulous mornings. So why the heck did I title this post The Domino Effect? Well, here's my latest idea that's sure to knock your socks off. I tend to be hyper-focused on the points of my day where my BG's tend to be crappy. I recently printed my Dexcom results and noticed that from about noon until dinner - I had a lot fewer normal range BG's than after dinner through the night. So I got to thinking, what if I focus on really fine-tuning my evening and nighttime BG's? This would be much less frustrating than tackling an already annoying part of the day AND it would likely cause a domino effect of great BG's leading into my afternoon sky-rockets in flight (minus the delight).</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ironic part about this idea is that once I put it down on paper - I had a succession of 3 mornings where the "dawn phenomenon" kicked my bleepin' arse. If I wake up in normal range - my dawn phenomemnon spike doesn't usually make too big a difference. BUT on the late night/early mornings where I spike around 3am and never come down - I am frankenstein even after my cup of coffee.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S. The title of this post was also inspired by a Sex & the City episode. I have got to stop being such a gosh darn stereotype of a girly girl.</span></div>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-13940417358886555662012-03-19T10:12:00.000-07:002012-03-19T10:12:34.741-07:00Public Health Rave<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #4c1130; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before you get excited - there's no glowsticks involved in this rave. Rather, this is actually a rant disguised as a rave about how ah-mazing public health is. Recently, I've explored what it takes to become a certified diabetes educator (CDE) - my public health experience has influenced my curiosity in exploring what it takes to combine my two loves: public health and diabetes advocacy. It's proving to be much more difficult than I anticipated due to the fact that you cannot sit for the licensing exam with an MPH (master's in public health) but rather you must already possess a clinical degree, a license such as an RD or an MSW (master's in social work). Part of me totally gets why this is the case. It makes sense that you need to have one-on-one patient/client interaction experience. However, I feel like perhaps these eligibility requirements are slightly antiquated given the recent skyrocketing numbers of people with diabetes. It is so important now more than ever to not only prevent diabetes but also the expensive and painful complications associated with it. I believe that many health professionals who do "public health" work are more than qualified to become CDE's (I swear I'm not patting myself on the back while writing this!). Public Health represents a shift in how we approach health and wellness - it takes into account social, economic, environment and other factors that acute care does not. So as someone who addresses health at a community-level in their job - no, I don't have patient interactions but I do understand that preventing and caring for type 2 diabetes involves a lot more than diet, exercise and medication. And my lack of "clinical" experience is nothing professional training and education couldn't cure. If prevention is the new focus in U.S. healthcare, then public health and clinical care will certainly be marrying and becoming one big, healthy family. I'm just hoping I'm invited to the wedding!</span><br />
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<br />KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-29407137059207651982012-03-15T09:38:00.000-07:002012-03-19T10:13:10.422-07:00Super Freak<br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So remember on Sex & the City when Carrie talks about “single-self behaviors” that you do when your significant other isn’t around. Well, I realized this morning that I have some “diabetic-self behaviors” that could potentially be viewed as weird and perhaps a little gross. For example, I am not the type to carry around gauze or alcohol wipes for my fingers after I prick them to test. Although I realize I am not and never will be a vampire or a character on True Blood, I find it’s much more convenient to just lick the blood off my finger and keep movin’ with my day. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also discovered while changing my pod what I would like to call “doing the nerve.” Hitting a nerve while changing your pump site feels like a lovely combination of being punched in the stomach while having a bee sting you – my response is a dance that is a combination of foot stomping and shimmying my shoulders. It’s all quite graceful I can assure you. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think everyone has secret behaviors that make them tick – but some of mine that are particular to how I deal with the everyday management of my diabetes are especially laughable because they are my ways of “cutting corners” so to speak. Like how I let my diabetes bag fill with used test strips because it’s a lazy habit that’s easier than always finding a trash can (and without fail, it always dumps out in the bottom of my purse). Or how I undoubtedly throw/drop/lose the plastic straw wrapper from my juicy juice when I’m low and find millions of them in my office/car/apartment/purse/bed/kitchen. Even better is waking up with fruit snacks or granola bar in your hair or under your pillow from a middle-of-the-night low BG. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I laugh at myself when I go to the supermarket and buy small bottles of juice rather than juice boxes. Why you ask? Well, because I think it looks much more grown-up and sophisticated to drink a mini-bottle of juicy-juice rather than slurping through a straw. Duh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-77863930869728877512012-03-07T10:41:00.001-08:002012-03-09T10:57:23.199-08:00Judgment Day<span style="background-color: white; color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Diabetes is judgmental. Someone recently shared with me the brilliant insight that diabetes is the disease that is most publically judged. By publically, I mean that pretty much everyone considers themselves a diabetes expert. How many times have you tested your blood sugar and had a friend, family member or complete stranger (my personal favorite) say “what is it <em>supposed</em> to be?” or “is that <em>normal</em>?” And as soon as this nosey (but lovable) person gets all up in your business - you shamefully realize that your meter is flashing a number that is NOT in the “supposed to be” range. Consider this: if you met a person with cancer – would you recommend treatments to them if you weren’t a cancer patient yourself? Or, if they told you they were a cancer patient would you respond by saying “Oh, my grandmother/father/aunt/uncle/mother died from that.” Fingers crossed, your answer is no. I am not discouraging people from inquiring about my diabetes – I love sharing with those who care to be interested. Knowing that my friends, family, etc. want to learn goes a long way especially since it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting to share so much.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my doctors at Joslin shared with me a hysterical little pamphlet called “diabetes etiquette for people who don’t have diabetes.” I have compiled enough material to write a novel filled with funny stories about the questions and reactions people with diabetes get on a daily basis when we share our diabetes with the real world. No matter how long you’ve had diabetes – there is something in this pamphlet for everyone. For example, Don’t #1 -“Don’t offer unsolicited advice about my eating or other aspects of my diabetes.” If you’ve ever attended a social function of any kind – I guarantee you ate or drank something that prompted someone to say “can you have that?” Or maybe you didn’t even get to eat it before someone looked at you as if you kicked a puppy because whatever you were about to enjoy resembled frosting with sprinkles on top.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The reason why my doctor shared the etiquette do’s and don’ts with me is because we were discussing the internal anger, guilt and disappointment that people with diabetes feel about their blood sugars when they are not “normal”. One can’t help but feel like a loser when your A1C is not in the “recommended” range and every diabetes pamphlet in the world says you should be able to achieve this through exercise, medication and diet. We all know it’s not that simple but it still feels pretty crappy. It’s hard not to feel disappointed when you think you did a kick-ass job bolusing for a meal only to find a few hours later that your blood sugar is 250. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">This “bummer, dude” feeling can be influenced by external sources or it can be a strictly internalized emotion. Either way, it certainly takes a toll. I find that in these situations – laughter comes highly recommended. Visit </span><a href="http://www.behavioraldiabetes.org/"><span style="color: #cc0000;">http://www.behavioraldiabetes.org/</span></a><span style="color: #cc0000;"> to download the diabetes etiquette booklet and have a good laugh at someone else’s expense – just don’t tell them I told you to do it. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-24951562045896313472012-03-05T10:34:00.003-08:002012-03-07T10:41:39.743-08:00Is g-free the way to be?<a href="http://www.boston.com/Boston/dailydose/2012/02/are-gluten-free-products-waste-for-those-without-celiac-disease/lg84RDhwfBrdLUfMp5pa0H/index.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are gluten-free products a waste for those without Celiac's?</span></a><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few years back (before it was the cool thing to do), I cut wheat and gluten from my diet. At the time, there was not a rapidly expanding selection of wheat and gluten free foods and it was challenging to find yummy, not outrageously expensive foods to eat. I chose to eat this way because I found I felt better on a multitude of levels – including how it affects my diabetes care. I am a huge fan of mixing gluten-free choices into my diet – especially because I am a bread-a-holic. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have never had a sweet tooth – cookies, cupcakes, ice cream and brownies make my stomach churn before I even take the first bite. We’ll skip the conversation about how ironic this is given I was diagnosed with T-1 and save those jokes for later. However, I’ve been known to stage grocery store interventions to treat my addiction to all things bread. I literally stand in the aisle and silently compromise with myself while trying not to freak out the other customers in the bread section. Forget chocoholicism, an egg sandwich on a bagel or a slice of pizza is bliss (could I be more of a New Yorker?!). And according to the latest news, maybe there are no actual benefits to my choosing to eat gluten-free breads, granola bars & chips but I certainly feel better than I do when I choose the alternative. Maybe it’s the placebo effect – where I’ve trained my mind and therefore my body into believing that gluten-free is the solution to my bodily function woes. Don’t get me wrong – my g-free, healthy diet is often undermined by that tiny, restaurant devil that stands on my shoulder and shouts “me want gluten!” And I am lucky enough at this point that I don’t have to monitor every little morsel that goes into my mouth – I have T-1 friends with celiac’s and I give them so much credit for managing the two. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Essentially, I feel lighter, less lethargic and in better control of my blood sugars when I eat g-free. Apparently, it’s also really in vogue according to diet trends – I was so ahead of my time, who knew? So maybe its guilt or I’m just a complete whack job – but I feel healthier when I make the conscious choice to buy Food Should Taste Good® Jalapeno Chips instead of the numerous other naughty alternatives. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S. I should get a job, start a fan club or buy stock in Food Should Taste Good® because I am actually infatuated with all of their products. Buy them here, you will not regret it (And if you do, send them to my office or house and I will help you resolve the issue)</span><br />
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<a href="https://store.foodshouldtastegood.com/catalog" target="_blank"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">https://store.foodshouldtastegood.com/catalog </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-86368282156850213242012-03-01T08:26:00.003-08:002012-03-01T08:39:21.309-08:00Dexcom - I love you, I'm just not that into you.<span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;">There is no doubt my Dexcom CGM has significantly improved my quality of life. Sometimes I forget what it was like to NOT know what my blood sugar is all the time - testing myself 8 times a day seems SO antiquated and prehistoric in comparison to how I am able to monitor my blood sugar now. Between my Omnipod and my Dexcom, I feel like a hip diabetes robot that is wireless, tubeless and in the know 24/7. However, as someone who has dealt with diabetes-related anxiety for some time now, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm suffering from what I'd like to call "plastic-pancreas hyperawareness syndrome."</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;">There are points in my day where perhaps I would like a little less information about the misbehaviors of my pancreas. For example, on days when I'm feeling particularly anxious or even having a panic attack - the double-down arrows of doom accompanied by vibrations and beeps alerting me that my blood sugar is plummeting are a bit dramatic. I went so far as to disable the alarm for when my blood sugar rises above 200 because I found that I would overreact, over-bolus and therefore, end up low and very crabby.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;">And while I love the security of my Dexcom relationship - we have some trust issues. I find it difficult to trust that my juice box or glucose tabs will raise my blood sugar when there is a lag in how the CGM reports progress. 5 minutes can seem like an eternity when you are low and that little upward arrow of hope has yet to provide IMMENSE relief to my hypo-anxiety.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;">When I feel frusterated with the Dexcom and my anxiety, I will often take a vacation from the CGM and go back to the old-fashioned way of monitoring my blood sugar. This "vacation" never fails to provide the epiphany necessary for me to stick that CGM back on my belly where it belongs. Diabetes requires constant learning - I've learned that sometimes it will be difficult for me to process all the information that my CGM provides. In the end, the security and comfort I feel when I look at trending normal blood sugars on that little screen could make it all worthwhile.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;color:#330099;">So Dexcom, its not you - it's me. But don't worry - I will still faithfully read your screen to the point of obsession whether we're having a good day or thinking about taking a vacation from each other. </span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-6192583127711602722008-10-08T09:34:00.000-07:002008-10-08T09:56:28.961-07:00Take Your Mom to the Endocrinologist<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I am one of those people who are freakishly close with their mom. I share with her everything that I would share with my best friends. We are attached at the hip on most occasions with one exception: the endocrinologist. I've been seeing my same adorable, wonderful doctor for over two years and no one outside of me has ever met him. So finally, I asked my mom on an endocrinologist date and we took off for Joslin. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">While on most occasions I am happy/excited to be hanging out with my mom...this day was different. Since I was diagnosed, I have braved nearly all doctor's appointments alone. I am often times nervous when I go but being alone forces me to rely on my own strength (or so I thought). This day, I was EXTREMELY anxious. In a fit of anxiety, I even tried to convince my mom to skip the appointment for a shopping day instead. After it was all said and done, I had to ask myself...why? I thought about my tendency to do eveything diabetes-related by myself and realized that it is mostly out of my concern for burdening those around me. In everyday life, there is almost always at least a few minutes in my day where I worry or perhaps don't feel right. I would never want my friends, family, boyfriend to spend their time with me worrying because then, I start to feel like a diabetic instead of a 22 year old girl. I realized how detrimental it is to behave this way after my mom came to Joslin. She was not worried or treating me different, she was absolutely amazed at the comradery between myself and my doctor. She had never even seen the resources that Joslin offers its patients. No wonder people worry..they don't know any better because I don't tell them. Lesson learned.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">P.S. I am disapointed in my lack of blogging over the summer but life has been hectic and has afforded me little opportunity to reflect about the betes side of things. However, I have good news...I am officially employed and it is in the realm of all things diabetes. I've even found a grad school program which will allow me to expand my career horizons while researching community health and diabetes (now I just have to get in!). So now, I can confidently say that there will be much more blogging and fabulous things to come! </span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-20116103768075958702008-08-25T15:28:00.000-07:002008-08-25T15:47:39.562-07:00A Temporary "Cure"<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">I cannot believe how long it has been since I last updated the blog. Needless to say, life after graduation has been full of ups & downs which luckily, has not included ups & downs in my blood sugar. Blogging about betes has honestly slipped my mind for most of the summer because it has been a none-issue. Worrying about jobs, money, apartments, grad school and the future has strangely helped me feel at ease about diabetes. I have realized that idleness...especially BOREDOM is counteractive to all my health goals. After tallying over 50 hours a week working for a summer program, I suddenly realized that my blood sugars were the best they had been in a loooooong time. Now the problem is that my busy period has stalled and I'm feeling anxious about my health and my upcoming doctors appointment. It seems that I always get messed up around the time of a doctors appointment and enter a strange, weird, period of change that messes up all my hard work! However, I am thankful for the moments where diabetes has been a distant thought lost in the back of my mind. I can't help but wonder...is busy-ness the cure? Does my pancreas respond well to an active, movin' & groovin' life? We'll see!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-5576967040961716402008-06-22T13:41:00.001-07:002012-03-05T10:36:21.847-08:00Chapter 13 of the Encyclopedia of Awkward Diabetes Moments: "The Trauma Surgeon"<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc33cc;">Last week was my 22nd birthday and so naturally, this occasion called for a few nights out and a few pink drinks. This of course resulted in numerous awkward bar conversations and hilarious happenings. However, I have to give the grand prize for the GREATEST bar conversation to my friend the "trauma surgeon" at Foundation Lounge. Now those of you reading may be thinking that this has nothing to do with diabetes...but trust me, it does. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">So my friend and I are sitting on a couch, pink cosmos in hand, chatting and trying our best not to make fun of EVERY single person that walked by. Suddenly, there were two fellows sitting on either side of us. My first though was...eh, not the cutest in the bunch but he mentioned that he was a doctor so I thought FREE COSMOS! (very shallow and bitchy of me, but hey, it was my birthday). So we're chatting and he's a surgeon so naturally I mentioned the big D word. Here's where the hilariousness sets in...so I tell him I'm diabetic and he immediately glances to the cosmo in front of me. I'm like great, another person who is going to criticize me because I enjoy a good martini. Then he says "Oh what's your hemoglobin A1C?" And I laughed and he said "I thought you'd be impressed by me asking that."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">I will admit, I would have been impressed if he wasn't a FRICKEN DOCTOR and if the answer to that question didn't haunt me on a daily basis. So I sheepishly answered "8." His face immediately twisted into a horrified, eyes popping out of his head look and replied </span><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">"That's REALLY bad."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">At this point, I'm thinkin' a lot of different things. First, I thought...ok he's been through about 10 years worth of school and still is a complete moron. Second, when will guys ever understand that insulting a girl is not the way to her heart? My third thought actually came flying out of my mouth..."Well guess what a-hole, last time I checked you weren't a diabetes specialist and for all I know, you probably aren't even a real doctor." He then proceeded to try and make it up to me by buying my friend and I another cosmo...which would have been fine if he didn't stick his foot in his mouth again by saying after "I bought that for you because I know you can't afford it.</span><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">"</span><br /><span style="color: #cc33cc;">Add this story to the book of awkward, enraging, ignorant yet sort of hilarious diabetes encounters. Hope you all enjoyed it!</span></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-42732038709291709372008-06-09T13:36:00.000-07:002008-06-09T13:56:23.830-07:00I Suck and I'm a little frusterated.<span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I recently went to Joslin for my 3 month visit which has now become converted into an every six months event. I love my doctor so I'm willing to wait to see him but I'm realizing that I really lack the "motivation" to go get blood work done, etc. on my own. Unless he makes me do it...I chicken out. We changed my insulin to carb ratio moving it from 1 to 10 to 1 to 8 soooo, he wanted me to keep a log of my BG, bolus and what I ate. Can I just say that I have NEVER, NEVER, EVER actually been able to follow through with this. I swear on my OmniPod that it is simply just not possible for an extended period of time. I mean, two weeks is all I needed to do and I stopped after about 5 days. My PDM does keep track of my daily blood sugars so before my appt., I'm going to need to go through them and write them all down basically making a lot more work for myself than I needed to. The reason why I say "I Suck" is because in the past 5 years there are two things that as a diabetic I have never quite been able to do. The first is actually keeping a written record of my numbers and the second is..(drumroll please)...FASTING. Now that I'm out of school its a different story but honestly, when I was working and going to school there was no way in HELL I was going to try and do those things on an empty stomach. I realize that I "fast" all the time and don't even realize it but for some reason it makes me really annoyed when medical professionals expect me too. It's like, are you gonna come over and hang out with me so I don't have to sit at my apartment and fantasize about what I could be eating? Are you going to deal with the wrath that is Kayla when she is extremely hungry?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">The thing that pisses me off the most about going 6 months in between appointments is that from January to June..my life drastically changed. I started out in January working really hard, convinced that I was going to lower my A1C no matter what. By June, I had endured a semester of two jobs, my senior project, graduation, a break-up, birthdays, senior week, traveling home, strep throat, exhaustion, job searching...I mean gosh, whatever I did in January/February/March didn't even matter by the time I made it to the doctor. What was reflected in my results was the roller coaster of being a college graduate...not the conscientious diabetic I was trying to be earlier on. Anyways, I admit this is kind of an aggression/frustration driven blog...but frankly, I was disappointed in the results I got at the doctor. I'm most likely being slightly harsh but I really really more than anything want my A1C to be down to 7 and until I accomplish that I can't help but be a little bit cranky, right? The good news is, I have made a triumphant return to the gym scene! Woo!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-90502135096387516332008-05-26T16:35:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:23:15.263-07:00Summah Summah Summah Time.<span style="color:#cc33cc;">Following my discovery of the mantra "Life is not as serious as my mind makes it out to be," I got to thinking about a summer-time happening that many a women dread many months in advance...the bathing suit. Shopping for bikinis, tankinis and one pieces is one thing, actually trying them on and finding one that is acceptable (and if you're lucky, fabulous) can be a trying experience. Add an insulin pump into the mix, and the experience may find you wondering if sweatpants could pass as acceptable beach wear. </span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">So my friend from high school who basically taught me everything about being a fabulous diabetic before I even had diabetes sent me a message recently that got me thinking. In the past, I have gone through every effort trying to hide my insulin pump/site under a bikini. Seriously, trying to hide it under a piece of fabric the size of a dish towel or smaller. How INSANE! I've only worn the OmniPod once under a bikini and it resulted in water slide disaster 2007. Clearly, I'm ready for a fresh start with my swimwear.</span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">So in keeping up with the idea that nothing is as serious as it appears in my mind, why not wear my pod where ever the heck I feel like it? Not to be corny, but isn't hiding my insulin pump really hiding a part of who I am? When my doctor and I first began discussing the option of switching to OmniPod, he told me a story about this woman he saw at a Red Sox game. He said he noticed her because she was wearing a midriff baring top and had some serious abs but what really struck him was that she had her Pod stuck smack dab on those rockin' abs for the world to see. I thought, WOW, nice thought but not for me. </span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I know it's a lot harder to actually do it but honestly, why do we hide it? The thing is, I know there are women out there who possess the self-confidence to wear tight, revealing clothes with their pump and I've never been one of them. I've decided that I am going to work up the GUTS to wear my insulin pump and "let it all hang out," so to speak. And when I start to chicken out, all I have to do is scan the beach and I'll be sure to find some wrinkly, orange-glo woman in her metallic gold thong...and that will be all the assurance I need that no one really cares if my pump is showing. </span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I'm pretty fired up about this whole bathing suit thing and I realize that this theory is a whole lot of talk at the moment so what I really need is your feedback. I know that myself and my friend Erin could definitely use a pep-talk from one of you ladies who bares their betes on the beach. It may seem silly but I know to some of us T1 ladies, this can be really traumatizing and difficult to deal with. Let me know what you think, what your experiences are. </span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-73168332444275840222008-05-21T14:49:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:17:56.510-07:00Perez Hilton gives a Shout Out to T1!!!!<span style="color:#3333ff;">I have to confess that PerezHilton.com is one of my guilty pleasures. He posts different charities on his website each day and today is OUR day! FINALLY! Check it out, Perez gets MILLIONS of hits every day..Let's hope that it translates into millions of donations!<br /><br /></span><a href="http://perezhilton.com/page/3/"><span style="color:#3333ff;">http://perezhilton.com/page/3/</span></a><span style="color:#3333ff;"><br /><br />YAYYYY. BTW, Nick Jonas is an OmniPod user and you can see his testimonial on their website (myomnipod.com) Also, check out the comments people wrote...prettyyyy cool!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-65235819592441841952008-05-16T19:39:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:18:24.861-07:00Eckert Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose!<span style="color:#009900;">There has been a lot going on in my life lately, me being a college graduate, grown up, real person now. With all this change in my life, there has also been a lot of stress both the good kind and the bad kind. Now normally, I am not one to believe in any kind of new age, spiritual, deep thinking because it tends to leave me confused and far from enlightened. However, I do believe wholeheartedly in the power of OPRAH. However silly it may seem, if Oprah says this book is life-changing...how weird/bad/scary can it be? It turns out my timing could not have been more perfect. With all the options and decisions before me, I am basically on a terrifying, exciting, gut wrenching roller coaster ride of possibilities and emotions.<br /><br />To my own shock, I'm halfway through the book and I've already had some enlightening moments especially in regards to diabetes. There was one line, that is officially my new mantra. As a person who struggles with anxiety almost daily...this was an instant where I felt like I had found the answer to my problems. Here it is:<br />"LIFE IS NOT AS SERIOUS AS MY MIND MAKES IT OUT TO BE."<br />I'm not going to comment on it any further...I just want you to stew. haha.<br /><br />Ok so second moment. Basically, the entire book is about ego and how it affects all of humanity, what it means, and what the heck it is. The author was discussing when a major tragedy occurs in someone's life and how people either react negatively or positively. As I read this, I found myself thinking about tragic loss in my own life. It might sound weird but I consider the death of my functioning pancreas a loss, but certainly not a tragic one by any standards. When I was diagnosed, it was almost like a relief came over me. The author discussed the fact that if you open yourself up after a loss and let a little sunshine in...you allow coincidence to occur. Now this is a more complicated englightened moment to explain..because it makes sense in my head, but not so much on paper. This is important to remember in those moments where diabetes just plain pisses me off. Or in those rare occasions where I may feel a little sorry for myself. Accepting your dysfunctional pancreas, realizing the opportunities it can create and moving forward creates coincidences...and coincidences are pretty cool in my opinion.<br /><br />Lastly, there was a section on body awareness that I found really interesting. The author suggests taking a moment each day to feel your hands, followed by your feet and the rest of your body. I tried this...and I felt relaxed. I just laid there, felt my hands tingle, then my feet and opened my eyes and had a little bit of a zen moment. COOL.<br /><br />Ok so I'm going to continue reading and I highly suggest you read this book. I ran upstairs after I finished the few couple sections and woke up my mom and said I GET IT, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! It was such a cool feeling, I even cried as I was reading it. GO OPRAH!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-4846293267085062512008-04-30T17:39:00.000-07:002008-04-30T17:44:25.272-07:00For all you creative folk...<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Amy from DiabetesMine sent me some info about this really great contest designing innovative/creative diabetes gadgets & gismos! There are two categories; over 18 and under 18...check it out! The deadline is May 26th and there are some awesome prizes!!! Head over to DiabetesMine.com for the specific details. Here's the link:<br /><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >The competition begins today...</span> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >at </span><a href="http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/04/2nd-annual-diab.html" target="_blank"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >http://www.diabetesmine.com<wbr>/2008/04/2nd-annual-diab.html</span></a></div> <div> </div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >This is a very cool <strong>YouTube-based contest</strong> sponsored by two young boys living<br />with Type 1 diabetes for over 10 years each. It's co-hosted by MedGadget.com, and prizes include $2,000 in cash plus some pro-bono consuling from world-class design firm IDEO.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-56436154352230819692008-04-27T18:40:00.000-07:002008-04-30T17:45:03.846-07:00GRADUATION!<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">This is my official note of apology for being such a slacker! Things have been crazy because I am officially done with college in exactly two weeks!! You'll have to stayed tuned, I have tons to update but just have not had the time. This has been one of the craziest, greatest, most exciting times of my life but also one full of FREAK-OUTS! I graduate May 10th so until then, the blogging will most likely be put on hold due to the fact that I have tons of work and celebrating to do! However, I have been keeping track of my thoughts, ideas, etc so once I'm free from books, papers, and being a student..the blogging will take off!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-57519829080908419702008-04-06T13:04:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:19:22.701-07:00A is for Anxiety<span style="color:#ff6600;"><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">In the past few years, I've had major issues with anxiety. The mind is a crazy thing, especially when dealing with chronic illness and a busy lifestyle. Last year, things started to get really out of hand..living in a dorm with four other girls, working, going to school and diabetes started to take its toll on my mental health. So, I decided to see one of the mental health specialists at Joslin...I haven't been back in almost a year now so I wanted to reflect on the progress I've made since then.</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">My anxiety basically began to take over my diabetes care...I was absolutely terrified of going low, partially due to the fact that I was always walking, on the T, at work or in class and never quite sure of who I would turn to if something did happen. As it progressed, I was letting my blood sugars run high because I felt comfortable being between 200 and 250, far away from low and just as dangerous. I felt completely out of control and was a MESS. So I started talking to Ann, the specialist and after a few visits, we devised a plan. The plan was to gradually move my "comfort" number down by 50 points. So to start, I had to move my comfort level from 200-250 to around 150/180-200. The problem was that in the middle of trying to do all of that, I switched to the OmniPod and so my A1C went up again during that adjustment period. Life basically completely got in the way of me trying to execute the "plan."</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">So around Thanksgiving of this year, my mom and I discovered the online community. I was not feeling 100% but was honestly didn't know what do. My anxiety had diminished but I still had my dramatic, diva moments and still my blood sugars were not what they should be.</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">I had to make a change, a decision...I had exactly one month until my next doctors appt. so with my mom's help I came up with an experiment. I had tried a wheat-free, gluten-free diet in the past but it was difficult to do eating in a cafeteria. So, my experiment was to eat a wheat-free, gluten-free diet for one month and to see what happened when I went to the doctor. My result was a .2 drop in my A1C in just one month, granted it was still 8.2 and higher than I wanted but I was finally starting to see results!</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">So now, about three months later my "comfort" level is around 130 to 160 and I feel much better, healthier and lighter. I've lost weight, and I just feel less bloated and weighed down by my blood sugars. I haven't had my A1C tested since January but I am feeling really confident that it will finally be down in the 7's. I really feel like my "experiment" made me feel much more positive about my health...before it felt like a burden because I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. And frankly, its disappointing to discipline yourself for so long only to have no results.</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">Now, I've replaced my old comfort foods with a new obsession...gluten-free toast. I absolutely love spelt, wheat-free bread and it tastes so good toasted and does not affect my blood sugar the same way normal bread would. I tell my mom all the time that if I could live on sandwiches and toast I would...and now I could! I find myself constantly changing supermarkets to hunt for new, interesting gluten-free treats to try. Just making this little change in my diet has really helped me to make positive changes, I still struggle with anxiety about lows but I've really gained a lot more confidence in my ability to control my blood sugars.</span><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">Hmm..This topic is def. overwhelming for me to cover...so for now, I'll leave it at that.</span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(153,51,153)">I'll add some gluten-free links!</span><br /><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-86087816430967526692008-04-01T16:13:00.000-07:002008-04-01T16:46:59.875-07:00Droppin' the Big "D" Word<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Sunday, I had the pleasure of brunching with a fellow T1 girly whom I met at the Diabetes Expo, I'll call her LT. We obviously talked about the everyday struggles/triumphs/embarassing stories of being T1 and one part of our conversation got me thinking and laughing. We were talking about relationships, how people react to diabetes, experiences with boyfriends, friends, teachers, parents, peers, strangers, you get the picture..we were equally stumped by the following questions: When and how do you bring up the "D" word in a relationship?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">I had to laugh because every time I've told someone its resulted in me being the most awkward, self-conscious, stuttering person alive. Let's just say, its made for some great embarrassing tales to share when I need a good laugh. I have to say, usually when I met someone new, diabetes is not the first thing I talk to them about...something about the person or their body language, what they're saying usually has to trigger it in my mind. It's like..all of a sudden you become aware that their eyes are focusing on that piece of tubing sticking out of your belt, or that pod-shaped bump under your t-shirt..and then, out of nowhere you feel compulsed to just blurt out "I'M DIABETIC" before they can get out the "Is that a _____!? (fill in the blank with appropriate cell phone, Ipod, beeper, whatever misconception is your personal favorite) Allow me to illustrate exactly where we decided the dilemma lies.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">We discussed the dreaded, evil, nerve-wrecking, awkward FIRST DATE. These are situations which can be disastrous under normal circumstances, add a chronic illness to the mix and whoa, baby. So let's be optimistic, say you are on a first, second, even third date with someone and you have yet to unleash the big "D." You are at a small, romantic little italian restaurant where the menu is a carb-lovers paradise and a diabetic conundrum. You are eating when the inner-conflict surfaces and the questions begun to race through your head. Should I just pull out my meter and test at the table, therefore revealing the secret? Will the person be grossed out by me licking the blood off my finger? Should I take my meter into the bathroom? What if I go low later? Will he think I'm a freak if I pull out my juicy juice box? Should I tell them? Should I not tell them? We've all experienced this, whether or not it was on a first date. The hard part is not telling the person...its waiting, suffering or rejoicing at their reaction.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">I had a guy once crack a joke about my "pager" saying that no one but a drug dealer would carry one of those anymore. My friends jaws hit the floor as I stammered....."Its an insulin pump." The hardest part is talking about your diabetes after a comment like that, trying to open up and share when you really just want to kick the person in the shin. I have to give credit to the people who react by trying to understand it before making their judgment about how they are going to treat me. By this I mean, if you don't know a lot about diabetes...ASK! But, please try to avoid "Are you allowed to eat that?" Because yes, while diabetics do watch their diet...I will be the judge of what I can and cannot eat...not my dysfunctional pancreas. And I certainly do not want to feel guilty or judged if I do decide to eat a cookie or a piece of birthday cake. You have to smile at the moments where people go out of their way to make sure you are ok, you've had enough to eat, your blood sugar isn't low or high and that yes, you actually feel quite normal at this moment. While sometimes it is annoying to have people fuss over your health or even show a bit of pity...it just goes to show you that they care!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Don't get me wrong, this is not a rant...rather a reflection. I truly reflect on these awkward moments with fondness because they are worth their weight in laughter afterwards. And it makes me happy to know that perhaps I have educated a stranger, friend, teacher, peer about diabetes, and maybe even, spared another diabetic that awkward moment. What's your method for dropping the big D? Share some of your favorite moments!</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-29861606190194153722008-03-29T07:13:00.000-07:002008-04-01T16:07:39.124-07:00What the Heck?<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">So lately, I have been affected by a new phenomenon...nightmares.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Not just any old scary, BOO!, AH! nightmare but nightmares that would only frighten a diabetic.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Over the past two weeks, there have been two different occasions where I've had nightmares that felt so real, it was hard to convince myself of the opposite. In the first, it was one of those dreams where you feel like you'll never wake up. I had a "nightmare" that my blood sugar was extremely high...1,002 to be exact. Now while this may seem crazy...I was thoroughly freaked out when I finally woke up, in fact I was terrified of even testing my blood sugar because I was convinced that my "nightmare" was going to become reality.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">When I finally forgot about that nightmare, I had another! This time, I was sleeping when this whole scene played out where my blood sugar was 500 but...I could not, would not stop eating. It was insane...no matter what my mom, boyfriend, friends did, I refused to stop eating bagels, muffins, pizzas, candy basically all the foods I avoid at all costs were being shoveled into my mouth as my blood sugar climbed higher and higher.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">So I woke up yet again thinking...What the Heck? By no means have I ever experienced situations like this in real-life..so why are these scary thoughts invading my sleep? Has anyone else ever experienced this? Are there any diabetic dream interpretors out there who can tell me why I'm having dreams about high blood sugars rather than the usual princess/fairy tale dreams I adore? I mean, its enough to deal with it all day...and now it's taking over my precious zzz's?</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-53921921360105497312008-03-22T20:03:00.000-07:002008-04-01T16:08:04.649-07:00The Never-Ending Hunt for a Clean Potty<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Ok so the title of this post may seem peculiar, but if you've ever experienced the torture that is a high blood sugar and a teensy bladder...you will appreciate this post. So in my journey's throughout the city, it seems that I have attempted to use the bathroom in every department store, restaurant, coffee shop, book store...you name it, i've tried it.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Years ago, my Mom and I started a tradition that we still practice today. Whenever we go to a new place we've never been before whether it's a completely new city or simply a new restaurant..we rate the bathroom. After all, us ladies know that a true "powder room" is hard to come by. Once I was diagnosed with T1 this tradition took on a whole new meaning as being diabetic comes with the joys of having to test your urine for ketones, etc. So now that my Mom and I live in different cities, we will report back to each other and when we do get together, we still will go to the bathroom together and giggle as we critique. As far as I'm concerned, this should be a column in the newspaper next to the restaurant reviews, Imagine the countless numbers of diabetics who would benefit from being able to track down a fabulously clean bathroom during a high blood sugar.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">So maybe my passion for bathroom rating is a little over-zealous...but when you are constantly battling high blood sugars and frequent urination...a clean bathroom becomes pretty important. I will be honest and say that Starbucks is my go-to-bathroom stop. First of all, if you live in a location which thrives on caffeine..its pretty much guarenteed that there will be a Starbucks on every corner. Secondly, they are usually pretty decent bathrooms...No five star rating, but dang close.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">This is just the beginning of some of the quirky traditions that I have incorporated into my T1 lifestyle to take away from some of the aggravation or frusteration that stems from having to pee all the time, needing a private place to take a shot or test one's blood sugar. This has to be my favorite because it never ceases to make me laugh when I get a message from my Mom saying "You aren't going to believe the bathroom I found today!"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">P.S. If you have a favorite spot, feel free to comment!</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">"the most wasted of all days is one without laughter." - e.e. cummings</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-48467799331735223012008-03-19T09:34:00.000-07:002008-03-19T10:23:47.334-07:002008 Diabetes Expo in Beantown<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">Warning: This will be a sentimental post!<br />This semester, I've had the opportunity to intern with the American Diabetes Association as the Community Initiative Intern and thus far it has been the best job I've EVER had. The opportunity to work closely with an organization which works to combat an illness you live with everyday is an experience unlike any other. Even when I am assigned the most boring, tedious tasks I reflect on the opportunity that has been given to me and I realize that every thing I do there eventually comes back to me in the form of the support or advocacy that the ADA provides.<br /><br />For the past 2 and a half months, the office has been crazy working to plan the Diabetes Expo for 2008. I was lucky to be able to see both sides of this massive day of everything diabetes. I helped with the planning and execution and also attended and worked the event for the first time. It was held at the Seaport World Trade Center in Boston and it has taken me days to reflect on everything I experienced.<br /><br />First, I was asked by my supervisor to be in ADA World as the point person for the Community Initiative table. I was NERVOUS. I had no idea what the event would be like, I had only heard rumors from staff about how crazy it can get...Basically, I was freaking out when I arrived AND therefore, my blood sugar shot up to 271. I arrived with my parents and pretty much, refused to let my mom leave my side for about the first 45 minutes (i'm a momma's girl, what can i say?). I arrived early so I decided to walk around and check everything out. First, I went to the Volunteer lounge to look for a small snack or drink because I was shakin' like a leaf...I walked in to see my arch nemesis....a basket chock full of BAGELS. Now I'm a New Yorker so I loooooove me some bagels with cream cheese, however my Insulin Pump just cannot handle that load of carbs, its one of those foods that no matter how you bolus, how much you bolus..you will never have a normal Blood Sugar after. Alright so after that, I grabbed a cup of tea and headed straight for the OmniPod table.<br /><br />Now, I know I wrote my last post about the joys of the OmniPod but on this particular day..I was slightly ticked off about my pod. The day before I had to go through 3 pods before I finally got one on that wasn't defective. I don't mind having defective Pods because OmniPod is great about replacing them..my problem is the waste of insulin. Last time I tried to refill my prescription it was before the 90 days was up..and then had to worry about not getting it, etc. So I marched over to the table and all my worries went away after talking to the representative that sold me my Pod. He was wonderful, he even told me about some job opportunities and we've followed up with emails. So after talking to him, I felt much better.<br /><br />Ok so I did a little more walking around and then heading to my post in ADA World because I was excited to start meeting people. I left my parents with a mission: to get me as many pamphlets and free stuff as possible!! Ok so now, I'll tell you about what it was like working the table. It was incredible, it was amazing to tell someone I was diabetic and have them say "Me Too!!" It was nice to meet people who wanted to learn more, I had people ask me the difference between Type 1 and Type 2...which was refreshing because normally, people often assume that I have Type 2. Some people just made me want to cry because I felt so hopeful. I met one man who was in his fifties and had been diagnosed as the age of 16 (just like me), it was so cool so hear his story because he has been through many of the things I will soon encounter as a college graduate. His A1C was in the 6's which made me feel like...Hey! If he can have diabetes for 20-30 years and have a great A1C..So can I! The most emotional thing to see is all the small children who have diabetes and their parents. I feel blessed to have been diagnosed at an age where I understood that my life was going to change and was ready to accept it, it truly breaks your heart to see these babies who will have to deal with diabetes their whole childhood. It gave me insight on how my parents must feel...its this overwhelming desire to just like...take your pancreas out and say HERE TAKE THIS! YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO! I even met a fellow 20 something diabetic who was shared my frustrations about the lack of outreach to all us young betes people! We exchanged emails and it's been great talking to her. Unfortunately, the woman I worked with at the table was ignorant and self-promoting...but I don't even want to waste space acknowledging her stupidity.<br /><br />Working that event, I truly had one of the most amazing days of my life. I felt blissfully happy when I left and that feeling has carried with me. It's strange but I have suddenly transitioned from feeling lost and alone in the diabetes world to feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people who have reached out to me. Most days, I felt like I was walking around completely closed-off, I didn't want anyone to penetrate the vulnerability that comes with having a chronic illness. It was wonderful to see my my parents were affected, I felt so lucky having them there to share in this event with me. I love days like this that make your cheeks hurt and your tears flow because you are just so DAMN happy!<br /><br />I'll end this post with a quote that I think reflects the journey that is finding the lovin' in being a betes' queen;<br /><br />"Some pursue happiness, others create it!"<br /><br /><br />p.s. go to diabetes.org to learn about Expo's in your area..don't pass up this opportunity!<br /><br /><br /></span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3408590823829619766.post-25436104630295051602008-03-16T18:47:00.000-07:002008-03-21T12:50:07.198-07:00The Birth of a Betes Queen!<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">My First Post and I am so excited! My weekend was pretty much a diabetes-o-rama but that will be a later post because I promised myself I would write my first post about Omnipod.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">I'm going to be straight up, honest about this insulin delivery system, it is not an exaggeration to say that this "Pod" changed my life, the way I think about myself, and the way I view my diabetes. I went on the pump about 7 months after I was diagnosed, at the age of 17. Needless to say, while the pump made my life more manageable...I was annoyed. When you are 17, is there really anything more important to you than wearing the latest fashions, flirting with boys and spending your entire summer running around your neighborhood, staying up late and wearing your new bikini by your best friend's pool? In other words, having an infusion set on my tummy/booty was just not cool. So fast forward to the college years, my hate/love relationship with my Insulin Pump was only further magnified by meeting my first real relationship/boyfriend. But honestly, let's save that for another conversation because the OmniPod has been so amazing I have compiled a list of likes, dislikes, advice, etc. that I want to share with all of you! So here we go!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">1. Waterslides, Bikinis and Pods DO NOT MIX!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">This may seem like a weird number one but let me just tell you ladies, don't go down a waterslide expecting your Pod to stay glued to your butt cheek. I worked for a kids program last summer and we went to a waterpark, luckily I was prepared with injections but let's just say I walked out of the slide only to turn around and see my pod floating in the pool. This was pretty tramautizing however, I have some news that only a pump girl would find as thrilling...I was able to hid my pod under my bikini bottom (securely fastened to my upper thigh/butt area)!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">2. Fabulous Customer Service</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">Ok so I was slightly overzealous with the timing of this major change in my life. I decided to spend my first summer away from home, outside of Boston, away from my friends/boyfriend working for an incredible summer program for Inner City Kids. However, I thought I could handle switching over to OmniPod days after my 21st Birthday and only a week or two into the program. There were some technological glitches which under different circumstances would have been easy to handle but seemed overwhelming with no one there to "understand". I remember going out for my first Sex and the City-esque Martini as a 21 year old, I had my cute outfit, my cute boyfriend and my cute drink in hand when my pod had an occlusion and stopped working...and started beeping obnoxiously at me to change it. Needless to say, I freaked out. However, I called Insulet and they told me to try squeezing the area where you are applying the pod to avoid occlusions and massaging the area when you do. Oh the joys of being a newbie pumper all over again.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">My second major nervous breakdown occurred when one day for some unknown reason...my PDM aka my own handheld pancreas control system decided to fly across my room out of my hand and slam onto the tile floor. Just imagine your "pancreas" flying through the air and you not being able to do anything about it. Minutes later I was on the phone with Insulet crying, apologizing profusely as I found out a replacement cost 300 dollars. It took some negotiating and a lot of tears but I got my replacement! WOO!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">3. FASHION</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">I am proud to report that thanks to the tube-less pumping system, I officially have my sense of style back! While it took a period of trial and error, I truly appreciate the fact that I am often able to wear jeans with little to no discomfort. I wear my Pod on my butt so I often wear the boy-short style underwear to protect it from rubbing against the jeans and wearing off the adhesive. Pump Girls will surely appreciate putting on a hot pair of jeans, a cute top and some heels. Previously, my happiest fashion moment was the leggings comeback, It mean I could conceal my pump with a cute moo-moo baby doll dress and not have people asking me what the heck that thing is. However, lets be honest...past your teenage years, spandex is pretty risky. With the OmniPod, I can wear whatever I want (within reason)...I personally am a HUGE fan of dresses, they are flattering (cover your pump) and easy to throw on with a pair of tights. AND, you don't have to lift up your dress to retrieve your pod...after all, that could get you in trouble in some places.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">4. Less Math Equations</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">One time, I had a Diabetes Educator tell me that I should carry a carb-counting book, my glucose monitor and a SCALE with me at all times. A SCALE. I was astounded...I should have known when I walked into her office that she was a complete whackjob. After all, photos of your pug dressed up in costumes cannot be evidence of your sanity. She actually had the audacity to tell me that my basal rates were so out of control that she would have thought they were the basal rates of a type 2 obese older man. It took all my self-control not to lunge across the office and give her a piece of my mind. Now, I have discovered the joys of technology..the OmniPod basically does all the math for you once you program in all your info(meaning no scale in the dining hall or dormitory haha). FANTASTIC!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">5. It really sticks.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">Once you put the pod on, that sucker really sticks! At first I was nervous to lay on the pod or hit it on something because I was afraid to crimp the tubing or rip off the adhesive. However, this adhesive is unbelievable..you can lay on it, jump up and down, move around, or roll around (wink wink) and I've very rarely had the adhesive even begin to peel off. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">6. Did I mention the built in glucose meter?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">The OmniPod PDM has the Freestyle Flash meter built into the system, so you can test yourself and incorporate your correction factors into your bolus. Also, I love the Freestyle Flash because it uses the least amount of blood and my manicure wont be ruined by my gross, hole-y fingers.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">It's been about 8 months since I went on the OmniPod System so I'm sure there are details I'm forgetting. While adjusting is always frustrating, even the negative aspects of this system are so manageable. As I think of other comments I want to make, feel free to ask me any questions about the Pod and don't worry about being too personal. I appreciate those questions because they are things I wish I could have asked someone. I tried to focus on the things that the OmniPod Brochure won't tell you...I don't think they mention anything about how hot you will look with your new pod or how the lack of tubing might actually make you feel sexy and free. I also have contact information if you are interested in exploring the option.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">My next post I'm going to report back on the Boston Diabetes Expo which I had the opportunity to help plan and work at, It was truly an unforgettable experience which I am still reflecting on.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">Peace, Love and a Happy Pancreas.</span>KBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02100278407506455028noreply@blogger.com1