Chapter 13 of the Encyclopedia of Awkward Diabetes Moments: "The Trauma Surgeon"

Last week was my 22nd birthday and so naturally, this occasion called for a few nights out and a few pink drinks. This of course resulted in numerous awkward bar conversations and hilarious happenings. However, I have to give the grand prize for the GREATEST bar conversation to my friend the "trauma surgeon" at Foundation Lounge. Now those of you reading may be thinking that this has nothing to do with diabetes...but trust me, it does.

So my friend and I are sitting on a couch, pink cosmos in hand, chatting and trying our best not to make fun of EVERY single person that walked by. Suddenly, there were two fellows sitting on either side of us. My first though was...eh, not the cutest in the bunch but he mentioned that he was a doctor so I thought FREE COSMOS! (very shallow and bitchy of me, but hey, it was my birthday). So we're chatting and he's a surgeon so naturally I mentioned the big D word. Here's where the hilariousness sets in...so I tell him I'm diabetic and he immediately glances to the cosmo in front of me. I'm like great, another person who is going to criticize me because I enjoy a good martini. Then he says "Oh what's your hemoglobin A1C?" And I laughed and he said "I thought you'd be impressed by me asking that."

I will admit, I would have been impressed if he wasn't a FRICKEN DOCTOR and if the answer to that question didn't haunt me on a daily basis. So I sheepishly answered "8." His face immediately twisted into a horrified, eyes popping out of his head look and replied
"That's REALLY bad."

At this point, I'm thinkin' a lot of different things. First, I thought...ok he's been through about 10 years worth of school and still is a complete moron. Second, when will guys ever understand that insulting a girl is not the way to her heart? My third thought actually came flying out of my mouth..."Well guess what a-hole, last time I checked you weren't a diabetes specialist and for all I know, you probably aren't even a real doctor." He then proceeded to try and make it up to me by buying my friend and I another cosmo...which would have been fine if he didn't stick his foot in his mouth again by saying after "I bought that for you because I know you can't afford it.
"
Add this story to the book of awkward, enraging, ignorant yet sort of hilarious diabetes encounters. Hope you all enjoyed it!

I Suck and I'm a little frusterated.

I recently went to Joslin for my 3 month visit which has now become converted into an every six months event. I love my doctor so I'm willing to wait to see him but I'm realizing that I really lack the "motivation" to go get blood work done, etc. on my own. Unless he makes me do it...I chicken out. We changed my insulin to carb ratio moving it from 1 to 10 to 1 to 8 soooo, he wanted me to keep a log of my BG, bolus and what I ate. Can I just say that I have NEVER, NEVER, EVER actually been able to follow through with this. I swear on my OmniPod that it is simply just not possible for an extended period of time. I mean, two weeks is all I needed to do and I stopped after about 5 days. My PDM does keep track of my daily blood sugars so before my appt., I'm going to need to go through them and write them all down basically making a lot more work for myself than I needed to. The reason why I say "I Suck" is because in the past 5 years there are two things that as a diabetic I have never quite been able to do. The first is actually keeping a written record of my numbers and the second is..(drumroll please)...FASTING. Now that I'm out of school its a different story but honestly, when I was working and going to school there was no way in HELL I was going to try and do those things on an empty stomach. I realize that I "fast" all the time and don't even realize it but for some reason it makes me really annoyed when medical professionals expect me too. It's like, are you gonna come over and hang out with me so I don't have to sit at my apartment and fantasize about what I could be eating? Are you going to deal with the wrath that is Kayla when she is extremely hungry?

The thing that pisses me off the most about going 6 months in between appointments is that from January to June..my life drastically changed. I started out in January working really hard, convinced that I was going to lower my A1C no matter what. By June, I had endured a semester of two jobs, my senior project, graduation, a break-up, birthdays, senior week, traveling home, strep throat, exhaustion, job searching...I mean gosh, whatever I did in January/February/March didn't even matter by the time I made it to the doctor. What was reflected in my results was the roller coaster of being a college graduate...not the conscientious diabetic I was trying to be earlier on. Anyways, I admit this is kind of an aggression/frustration driven blog...but frankly, I was disappointed in the results I got at the doctor. I'm most likely being slightly harsh but I really really more than anything want my A1C to be down to 7 and until I accomplish that I can't help but be a little bit cranky, right? The good news is, I have made a triumphant return to the gym scene! Woo!

Summah Summah Summah Time.

Following my discovery of the mantra "Life is not as serious as my mind makes it out to be," I got to thinking about a summer-time happening that many a women dread many months in advance...the bathing suit. Shopping for bikinis, tankinis and one pieces is one thing, actually trying them on and finding one that is acceptable (and if you're lucky, fabulous) can be a trying experience. Add an insulin pump into the mix, and the experience may find you wondering if sweatpants could pass as acceptable beach wear.

So my friend from high school who basically taught me everything about being a fabulous diabetic before I even had diabetes sent me a message recently that got me thinking. In the past, I have gone through every effort trying to hide my insulin pump/site under a bikini. Seriously, trying to hide it under a piece of fabric the size of a dish towel or smaller. How INSANE! I've only worn the OmniPod once under a bikini and it resulted in water slide disaster 2007. Clearly, I'm ready for a fresh start with my swimwear.

So in keeping up with the idea that nothing is as serious as it appears in my mind, why not wear my pod where ever the heck I feel like it? Not to be corny, but isn't hiding my insulin pump really hiding a part of who I am? When my doctor and I first began discussing the option of switching to OmniPod, he told me a story about this woman he saw at a Red Sox game. He said he noticed her because she was wearing a midriff baring top and had some serious abs but what really struck him was that she had her Pod stuck smack dab on those rockin' abs for the world to see. I thought, WOW, nice thought but not for me.

I know it's a lot harder to actually do it but honestly, why do we hide it? The thing is, I know there are women out there who possess the self-confidence to wear tight, revealing clothes with their pump and I've never been one of them. I've decided that I am going to work up the GUTS to wear my insulin pump and "let it all hang out," so to speak. And when I start to chicken out, all I have to do is scan the beach and I'll be sure to find some wrinkly, orange-glo woman in her metallic gold thong...and that will be all the assurance I need that no one really cares if my pump is showing.

I'm pretty fired up about this whole bathing suit thing and I realize that this theory is a whole lot of talk at the moment so what I really need is your feedback. I know that myself and my friend Erin could definitely use a pep-talk from one of you ladies who bares their betes on the beach. It may seem silly but I know to some of us T1 ladies, this can be really traumatizing and difficult to deal with. Let me know what you think, what your experiences are.

Perez Hilton gives a Shout Out to T1!!!!

I have to confess that PerezHilton.com is one of my guilty pleasures. He posts different charities on his website each day and today is OUR day! FINALLY! Check it out, Perez gets MILLIONS of hits every day..Let's hope that it translates into millions of donations!

http://perezhilton.com/page/3/

YAYYYY. BTW, Nick Jonas is an OmniPod user and you can see his testimonial on their website (myomnipod.com) Also, check out the comments people wrote...prettyyyy cool!

Eckert Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose!

There has been a lot going on in my life lately, me being a college graduate, grown up, real person now. With all this change in my life, there has also been a lot of stress both the good kind and the bad kind. Now normally, I am not one to believe in any kind of new age, spiritual, deep thinking because it tends to leave me confused and far from enlightened. However, I do believe wholeheartedly in the power of OPRAH. However silly it may seem, if Oprah says this book is life-changing...how weird/bad/scary can it be? It turns out my timing could not have been more perfect. With all the options and decisions before me, I am basically on a terrifying, exciting, gut wrenching roller coaster ride of possibilities and emotions.

To my own shock, I'm halfway through the book and I've already had some enlightening moments especially in regards to diabetes. There was one line, that is officially my new mantra. As a person who struggles with anxiety almost daily...this was an instant where I felt like I had found the answer to my problems. Here it is:
"LIFE IS NOT AS SERIOUS AS MY MIND MAKES IT OUT TO BE."
I'm not going to comment on it any further...I just want you to stew. haha.

Ok so second moment. Basically, the entire book is about ego and how it affects all of humanity, what it means, and what the heck it is. The author was discussing when a major tragedy occurs in someone's life and how people either react negatively or positively. As I read this, I found myself thinking about tragic loss in my own life. It might sound weird but I consider the death of my functioning pancreas a loss, but certainly not a tragic one by any standards. When I was diagnosed, it was almost like a relief came over me. The author discussed the fact that if you open yourself up after a loss and let a little sunshine in...you allow coincidence to occur. Now this is a more complicated englightened moment to explain..because it makes sense in my head, but not so much on paper. This is important to remember in those moments where diabetes just plain pisses me off. Or in those rare occasions where I may feel a little sorry for myself. Accepting your dysfunctional pancreas, realizing the opportunities it can create and moving forward creates coincidences...and coincidences are pretty cool in my opinion.

Lastly, there was a section on body awareness that I found really interesting. The author suggests taking a moment each day to feel your hands, followed by your feet and the rest of your body. I tried this...and I felt relaxed. I just laid there, felt my hands tingle, then my feet and opened my eyes and had a little bit of a zen moment. COOL.

Ok so I'm going to continue reading and I highly suggest you read this book. I ran upstairs after I finished the few couple sections and woke up my mom and said I GET IT, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! It was such a cool feeling, I even cried as I was reading it. GO OPRAH!

For all you creative folk...

Amy from DiabetesMine sent me some info about this really great contest designing innovative/creative diabetes gadgets & gismos! There are two categories; over 18 and under 18...check it out! The deadline is May 26th and there are some awesome prizes!!! Head over to DiabetesMine.com for the specific details. Here's the link:


The competition begins today...

at http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/04/2nd-annual-diab.html

This is a very cool YouTube-based contest sponsored by two young boys living
with Type 1 diabetes for over 10 years each. It's co-hosted by MedGadget.com, and prizes include $2,000 in cash plus some pro-bono consuling from world-class design firm IDEO.

GRADUATION!

This is my official note of apology for being such a slacker! Things have been crazy because I am officially done with college in exactly two weeks!! You'll have to stayed tuned, I have tons to update but just have not had the time. This has been one of the craziest, greatest, most exciting times of my life but also one full of FREAK-OUTS! I graduate May 10th so until then, the blogging will most likely be put on hold due to the fact that I have tons of work and celebrating to do! However, I have been keeping track of my thoughts, ideas, etc so once I'm free from books, papers, and being a student..the blogging will take off!